Hamlet's pop-ups

To be, or not to be, that is the question—
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to get the latest health, fitness, anti-aging,
and nutrition news, plus special offers? To die, to sleep—
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The Heart-ache, and the thousand destinations
That we are now flying to? 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to stimulate all
Your major stomach muscles at the same time
Providing you with the perfect abdominal contraction
That means your upper abs, the lower abs
And even your obliques, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes losing weight simpler
Than you could ever imagine,
The Oppressor's wrong, the proud man's Contumely,
The pangs of despised Love, microscopic spheres
Of rejuvenating multi-berry anti-oxidants slipping gently
Into the skin deeper than ever before, delivering
Break-through ingredients to bathe your weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn
No Traveler returns, Puzzles the will,
And makes us provide extensive educational programs
Particularly in science and agriculture
For students around the world,
And thus the Native hue of Resolution
Is sicklied o'er, with the pale cast of Thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment,
Have thoroughly earned their own reputation
For a unique level of quality
The result of a fusion of commitment, innovation
And experience, in all thy Orisons
Be thou all my sins remembered.